Aspirations.

Today I am sick. Being sick in bed is pretty much the pits. Can I get an Amen??

But, after watching my 5th episode of Cupcake Wars (I aspire to be an awesome cupcake baker someday, with the Kitchen Aide I got for our wedding *TWO YEARS AGO* that I've never used) I decided maybe this would be the perfect time to write on my blog.

I have a love hate relationship with my blog. 

You see I love to write, or journal I guess you could say. And I feel like I have all these great ideas to talk about and uplifting things to say. But then I sit down, I put my fingers on the keyboard and it takes me a while to get everything in my head to somewhat flow on the screen. I hate how much time it takes. I don't know how all these peeps post once a day, give me your talent! But then I love writing and contemplating too. I aspire to someday write a book as well. Maybe in my next life when I've got eternity to come up with something great.

As you can see I have a lot of aspirations. Beus can attest to me coming up with something new every once and a while to add to my lovely list. What I love about the word aspiration is it means "a hope or ambition of achieving something." I would like to add "achieving something Great." The other night I was really down and hard on myself. Isn't it said that we are all our own worst critic? I don't even know why but I was just thinking of all the things I'm bad at, and all the knowledge I don't have. I know that doubt, defeat, and the feeling of worthlessness comes from Satan, isn't he a cunning guy. He always seems to know how to bring us down. And as I lay there in bed feeling extremely sorry for myself I had a special thing happen. I heard a still small voice whisper in my head "Stop." Except it didn't seem like a whisper, in fact it felt like I was knocked on the head and firmly chided. Taken aback, but grateful. I stopped. 

Sometimes I like to think that maybe more of us would benefit from a good knock on the head at times. I know I would! There are moments in my life I look back on and like to imagine Heavenly Father up there watching me, sigh, put his hand to his head and say "Come on Sid, pull it together!!" I'm so grateful he never gives up on me, or anyone. Even when we might, or those around us give up on him. Even though I like to think he gets exasperated with me when sometimes I'm wandering around or letting those feelings of worthlessness creep up, I know he doesn't. And he never will. No matter how far someone may wander along this road back to him, he is always there with open arms welcoming us back in with unhurt feelings and a loving embrace. He is our true friend.

Once growing up I sat home crying to my mom about my unknown journey ahead. I wanted to do so many things with my life and I had no idea if I was going to be able to do any of them. A significant thing i had in mind was serving an LDS mission. I cried telling her it's something I wanted to do, but just didn't know if it was part of my plan at that moment. Lovingly she said something to me that was like a knock on the head. "Sid, having goals and aspirations to do great things will in turn make you a better person, no matter if you end up doing them or not." I realized then that maybe I didn't have to serve a mission to be able to share my love of the gospel, or maybe I didn't have to work in an orphanage to have a loving heart, or maybe it was okay I didn't have straight A's to show I am smart. It dawned on me then that if I Hope and Aspire for greater things, it will cause me to have a change of heart to become a better person and more importantly the person He wants me to be.

So when you're feeling down, Stop. Knock yourself on the head if you have to and realize your divine potential, and that we all have weaknesses. But more importantly we all have STRENGTHS. I challenge you to have aspirations and constantly be working towards your goals. They don't all have to be deep or spiritual. It could be something you've always wanted to try, or become better at. No matter what it is you want to aspire towards, they all can make us great.

*some of* Sid's Aspirations:

Learn how to play the violin, compose my piano song, serve a mission, Humanitarian aide, teach about something in the healthcare field, write a book, make a bombdiggity cupcake, learn how to decorate, understand numbers, teach a fitness class, learn about planting and taking care of tulips, take a photo class, work in the temple, have children, become a nurse.

Until next time my friends.

xoxo

p.s I found out a couple of weeks ago I got accepted into Weber State's Bachelor Program for the fall! I can almost say: Sidne Beus, RN, BSN *happy dance*

p.p.s look how cute this plant is kyle got for our house. had to take an artsy photo of course.

"Set your goals. But don't become frustrated because there are no obvious victories. Remind yourself that Striving can be more important than Arriving" -Marvin J. Ashton

Ten Confessions of Sid + a Movie

Hi, I'm Sidne. And I have some confessions to make. 

1. I LOVE San Francisco. Ky and I got the opportunity to explore the beautiful city of san fran over my spring break last week, and I fell in love. Not so much with all the bums wandering the streets, (though I'm sure they were nice people), but I sure loved all the sights we saw! Deep down I've always thought I could be a city girl. I love all the hustle and bustle, the loud streets, and all the people. It's a totally different life style I would love to try out sometime. I won't bore you with all of the details of our trip but some of my most favorite things we did were: Golden Gate Bridge. Bike riding along the bay. Walking the neighborhoods. and our Afternoons on the Pier. It was a much needed vacay for Ky and I and I enjoyed every minute of our time spent together. (sorry for the sap, sometimes you just gotta get away) If you've never been, I highly recommend it!

2. Kyle really dislikes me calling him "Ky", so we brainstormed the other night different nicknames I could use instead and he told me to try calling him "Beus". HA! Men.

3. I started going to the gym at the beginning of the year. Before you decide to stop reading, just know I'm not one of those peeps who is going to get all health crazy on you. I just like my sweets too much. As in i need one after every meal. I'm one of those who is way more motivated to work out if someone is telling me exactly what to do. I don't know what happens to me, but when I've got all these people around me working out together I get REAL competitive. Like, oh she thinks she can go harder than ME? Yeah. Right. But yet, that 6 month pregnant lady always seems to beat me and I'm stunned every. time. 

4. Before i married Beus…(haha)… I never painted my fingernails. Then one day after we were married he told me how much he liked when girls had painted fingernails so i gave it a go, and now i'm slightly obsessed. I blame him.

5. I don't cook. In fact the other day I was having a girl moment and randomly started crying in the car about how bad of a wife I am. Seriously, could all you blogger ladies put up a picture of take out once in a while and make this girl feel better about herself? We eat out, more than I would like to admit publicly, and yet kyle still loves me. He. still. loves. me. Bless his heart. I'm really trying to work on it.

6. Besides how excited I am for General Conference this weekend, I hate to admit I'm really excited to weed our flower beds. Shoot. 

7. Back to eating out, I could eat Taco Bell's 5 Layer Beefy Burrito every night for dinner and one: not feel bad about it. and two: not get sick of it. 

8. I love naps. I try to get a nap in every day. Seriously, naps should be required.

9. This girl loves video games. Sadly we don't even have any sort of video game system. So the last couple times we've gone to my parents I've made my little brother play Super Smash Brothers with me (my beus boy doesn't like video games. I know, crazy), and even with my lack of playing I still dominate. haha.

10. I have a very full heart this week. For some reason when we came home from San Fran I just was overcome with gratitude for the beautiful house I get to call mine, and for having a place someday Kyle and I will get to raise our little b's in. (yes, I'm going to call them our little b's for beus' ha!) Also, I'm so close to being a RN it's unreal. When I first decided nursing was for me, my dream job was working with kids with cancer. For our last semester in nursing school we do what they call "precepting" or a "capstone", it's where you get to request a place you would potentially like to work, or are interested in because you basically do an internship there as your last hurrah. I requested Primary Children's of course and luckily got a spot there. At the last minute i was given the opportunity to apply to their ICS floor, (their cancer treatment floor). At first I wasn't going to do it, mostly because I didn't really have the time to write up a whole application and resume. But finally it dawned on me that maybe this was Heavenly Father providing me with this opportunity and i thought what the heck, i'll do it. Well to my surprise, I got it. I was so overcome with joy when I found out! Whether or not I get a job there, I am so excited for this opportunity. I have the strongest testimony that Heavenly Father knows our hopes and dreams, and will provide us with a way to live them. My heart is just so full and I had to share.

Until next time,
xoxox
Sid

p.s here is our music video we made while in San Fran!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PfglRl7nYs
And here are some pics. Enjoy!